Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
