How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
