Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
