You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
