WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
