i think i have two assholes
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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