then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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