haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
