Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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