my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
