Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
