I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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