I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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