Pappa wants mamma naked
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
