so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
