That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
