I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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