Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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