But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
