I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
