next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
