D3 body, D1 cock
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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