we have officially lost it.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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