So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
