Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
