Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
