I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
