so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
