i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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