Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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