Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize