my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
