Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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