i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
