just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
