whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
