No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
