# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
