He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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