I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
