Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize