I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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