I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
