I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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