around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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