I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
