Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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