come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
