Kiss
Puke
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
