i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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