i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
