walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
