I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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