flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I have post one night stand depression
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