Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
