Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
