So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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