I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
